5 eye-opening reasons women burn out and have high cortisol (and how to fix it)

If you’re a midlife women juggling work, family, and everything in between, feeling burnt out might feel like your new normal.

High stress, endless exhaustion, and stubborn weight gain often come hand-in-hand with elevated cortisol — the body’s stress hormone. However, the reasons behind this burnout might surprise you.

In fact, they might even feel a bit strange or annoying to hear but I encourage you to keep an open mind, think about it honestly and see if you can relate. 

Here’s the truth...

So much of burnout comes down to one simple thing — we’re not getting what we want. Not in big dramatic ways, but in the little preferences about how our day goes, how we feel, and how we live our lives.

Much of our stress comes from resisting life’s natural flow and trying to control things that are often out of our hands. And while this is a common experience for many women, it’s actually something everyone goes through — not just us women.

Let’s look into 5 possible reasons you might be feeling burnt out with high cortisol, and what you can do to break free.

1. Having preferences about how your day goes — and feeling frustrated when it doesn’t

It’s totally normal to have ideas about how you want your day to unfold. Maybe you want a peaceful morning, a smooth school run, or some quiet time to yourself. But when the day doesn’t go as planned, frustration builds up fast.

This frustration isn’t just a fleeting feeling. It creates a kind of inner resistance — your mind keeps telling you, “This shouldn’t be happening,” or “Why can’t things go my way?” That resistance triggers your body’s stress response and spikes cortisol.

The more you cling to expectations of how your day “should” go, the more stress you carry. It’s like swimming upstream instead of flowing with the river.

How to fix it: Notice your preferences without judgement. When things don’t go as planned, remind yourself, “This is different from what I wanted — and that’s okay.” Practicing this acceptance lowers frustration and helps your body relax.

2. Trying to control the outcome and fighting with life

Life is unpredictable and the truth is, we often don't get what we want (not straight away anyway). Yet many of us try to control every detail — the perfect meal, the perfect workday, the perfect workout, the perfect job, the perfect family time and the list goes on....

Fighting this natural unpredictability causes constant tension and wears you down.

Trying to force things to go a certain way creates ongoing stress. It’s like holding a beach ball underwater — eventually, it pushes back harder.

How to fix it: Practice letting go. When you feel yourself gripping tightly to control, pause and ask, “Can I allow this moment to be as it is?” This simple mindset shift reduces resistance and lowers cortisol.

3. Avoiding or judging your emotions as good or bad

We often think some emotions are “bad” and try to push them away — anger, sadness, anxiety. But emotions are just energy flowing through your body. Avoiding them traps this energy, keeping your nervous system on high alert.

When you categorise (judge) feelings as good or bad, you resist them, and that resistance fuels stress and burnout.

How to fix it: Instead of labelling emotions, allow yourself to feel them fully — without judgement. Notice where the feeling sits in your body and breathe through it. This frees up stuck energy and calms your nervous system.

4. Lack of quality sleep — your body’s missed repair and reset 

Sleep isn’t just a luxury; it’s essential for your body to repair, restore, and reset.

When you don’t get enough quality sleep, your stress hormone cortisol stays elevated, keeping your body in “fight or flight” mode even when there’s no immediate danger.

Poor sleep affects your mood, energy, appetite, and how well your body processes fat and sugar — making weight loss feel almost impossible. It also drains your mental clarity and resilience, making daily stress feel overwhelming.

Many women underestimate how deeply poor sleep can fuel burnout and weight gain.

How to fix it: Prioritise consistent, restful sleep by creating a calming bedtime routine. This could mean:

• Turning off screens at least an hour before bed. I like to turn the internet off at 8pm. 

• Dimming lights and creating a peaceful environment

• Avoiding heavy meals or intense exercise late in the day

• Practicing gentle breathing or meditation to quiet your mind

Even small improvements in your sleep habits can dramatically lower cortisol and boost your energy.

5. Too much coffee and sugar — relying on quick fixes

When stress hits, it’s tempting to reach for coffee and sugary snacks to keep going. But these quick fixes cause blood sugar spikes and crashes, increasing cortisol and leaving you more exhausted in the long run.

Relying on these creates a vicious cycle of stress, cravings, and burnout.

How to fix it: Gradually reduce caffeine and sugar, replacing them with steady energy foods — protein, healthy fats, and fibre or a cup of tea.

This nourishes your body and helps keep cortisol in check.

Break the cycle and Let That Weight Go!

Burnout and high cortisol don’t have to be your story. By recognising these common stress traps and practicing simple, evidence-based fixes, you can calm your body, clear your mind, and finally let that weight go (both mentally and physically) for good!

If you're ready for immediate results and want the exact steps to feeling lighter, clearer and energised  without paying thousands - my online program will be perfect! 

See below for more information.